So here’s the truth — by the time I sit down to write a recap of the events of our past week or month or however long it’s been since my last post, it feels like old news. So here’s a new plan — instead of recaps, which you can find in my daily photo posts on Instagram, I’m going to try to use this space for more long form essays — blog posts if you will, in a stunning throwback to early 2000s online culture. (I may still give some space to collage posts of our month after the fact, but that’s not going to be my primary plan any more.)
So let’s talk about my struggles to make friends as a 53-year-old woman who works from home. The kids have class and their activities to find friends they connect with and share interests — Sean and Zoe are both in cross country and the school’s D&D (and more!) gaming club, and Doyce has his cohort of 30-some-odd folks in his same teaching certification course. I have work that could keep me on my computer in my home office 8 hours a day, 5 days a week unless I make a deliberate choice to go out — and any time to do make that choice, I have to catch up on work at some other time.
My first effort was joining the Nanaimo Newcomers Club. My sister Patty joined her local Newcomers Club ages ago when she first moved out to the suburbs of New Jersey, and make a ton of great friends there, so I wanted to give this a try. Alas, after paying my dues for a year membership, I walked into the first meeting and discovered I wasn’t quite the youngest member — but I was the second youngest. And probably by several decades. And even if I did want to find some fabulous septuagenarian friends to hang out with, almost every single activity they plan takes place in the middle of the day on a weekday — which, if you’re retired and looking to fill your day, makes perfect sense! Less so if you’re a working mom of teenagers. The other youngster and I are looking at creating an evening book club within the group, so stay tuned to find out how that develops.
The idea of book clubs got me thinking, so I checked at the local Chapters (chain bookstore that’s like the Canadian Barnes & Noble) and the local library, with no luck. They’re happy to supply books for a book club discussion, but don’t seem to host any or have resources for finding local groups. Luckily, several of the folx of my team at KT Literary are reading the same book, or have promised to, so I’m looking forward to a fun online conversation with people I already know.
Back in Colorado, I found my third space at Mile High Rescue, and before that, in my Nia classes at the Littleton Y. I am taking group lessons at a barn here in town, but here hasn’t yet been a strong sense of let’s chat and hang out beyond our hour-long lesson. Still, I did discover a lively adult riders group on Facebook, and I’m hoping that once I’m added to that, I may be able to connect with other riders a little more easily.
I’m also checking out a local yoga studio whose social media promises community and a 14 days for $14 trial period, so I will check that out! My aching hips after another riding lesson posting around the ring could certainly use the stretching.
I reached out to a local portrait photographer with a studio nearby to see if she’d be interested in meeting for coffee. I posted on a photography forum where I used to be very active to see if there’s any local members, and also followed a couple of other local photogs I found on Instagram to see if they might be my kind of people.
Let’s see, what else? I joined more Facebook groups than I can count, to the point where I might have completely ruined my algorithm. I rejoined Reddit, since there’s a local Nanaimo community, and I hoped maybe the Venn diagrams of location and “willing to be on Reddit” might include my kind of people. I’m randomly approaching women with cute dogs at the dog park that I hear mentioning keywords of my interests, like “volleyball” and “books.” (I have learned the names of several dogs who frequent the off leash park after school drop off in the mornings, but not any people’s names. Priorities.) There’s a local networking club meeting over lunch next Wednesday that I’m going to check out, in hopes that it’s not going to be a sales pitch. (It’s probably going to be a sale pitch.) I’ve looked at the calendar for social sewing meetups at the quilt shop nearby, and may try to check that out, although it’s limited to 5 people and you have to pay in advance (and is also scheduled during the work day, so I’d once again be skipping out on work to attend, which likely means the people I’d be meeting are not other working professionals).
If you have any other suggestions, please let me know. I’m literally willing to try anything once!
